hot sun hot sun hot sun hot sun hot sun hot sun. i hate hot sun. i feel very hot now. i done all my work already. so fast uh? all the works i should do today. one hour for math one chapter included the pmr test, one hour for the chinese test, one hour for the science test, 15mins to memorize all the moral nilai. am i fast? yes i am. lolx. going to study pjpk afterwards. reduce my work on tomorrow. tomorrow i have to go for pmo practice. almost the whole day i have to stay at school. i dont think tomorrow i will have time to online. aiseh. my mother nagged me just now. gosh, she wanted to find fight with me lahx. kept on saying my english is bad and she bought a english book for me to read and memorize and blah blah. guys, does english need to memorize? no right. it depends on your grammar and vocabulary wert. ishhh. it made me fell hotter. what should i do at night lehx? i have nothing to do lehx. poor me. have to stay at house and study. no one asks me out. poor laiyee. lolx. but i also didnt plan i will go out in this holiday. i wanna watch shrek3. im bored!! help!!


p.s. : i miss 3b3s. i miss euu all. >.~!

now is 8.05, night. just watched hanazakarino kimichitache, hua yang shao nian shao nu. JJ acted as ella's brother. he so cute nehx! ++ he wears spec lehx! ahhhhhhhhx! going to crazy. xDDD

can you believe that my plans are work? plan during the holidays.
i had studied bm, bi, and chinese! xDDD
am i guai? yes i am! *claps hand* xPP
my plan is working!!
hope it will still work until the holidays end.
wish me good luck!
God blessed! =]


p.s. : dont blame for i do blogging everyday. im just too sienz. hehe

heyyy! hapiie holiday ohx! hehe. im so hardworking nehx! i started to revise my work. im so different right? haha.


today, i have my hair cut. my hair is short now. short til at shoulder there. gam gam at there. lolx.

ok lahx. i go reply testiie first. hehe. wish me good luck in exam! ^^

yesterday i took bus to go back home. i felt super tired. walk from kampung lindungan to my house. do you know how far is it? i dont know. lolx. ++ long time i didnt go for exercise. at night, i went to sleep because i felt tired although i supposed to do my tuition homework. but, the big problem, i couldnt sleep. arghhhhh. until my mum went to sleep. i still HAVENT SLEEP. after awhile, lyn called me. i talked to her on the phone for 45 mins like that. after that she hung up because it was too long already. i back to sleep again. i cant sleep!!! it so suffering. i only fallen asleep at 12 like that, if im not wrong. the whole week, i couldnt sleep well. thats why, im going to sick!!!!

actually i was planned wanna write this post in chinese form. but i dont know how to use the chinese star. it is weird. it helps you explain the english form to chinese form. somemore my chinese so bad. very hard for me to understand it. i dont even know how to use it. quite annoying. so, im typing english now. lolx.

im going to sick. do you believe it? sick during the holiday. im going to die. i need to study during the holiday. it is hard to concentrate when you're sick. i feel dizzy now. lolx. thats why i didnt go to church. after my mum back sure she will blah blah bla on me. -.-" i dont want to sick ahhhhx.

from tmr onwards, holiday is start. is time to study. i made a timetable for myself. i dont want to waste time anymore. i want to get high marks in this term exam. hope my plan can work. because normally what i had planned wont success de. i look down on myself. thats real.

yesterday i went to pmo practice. i know im not good. i practiced seriously. but it doesnt give any result. what can i do lehx? pmo is the biggest problem in my life now. i dont feel want to face it. everytime when i think about this problem, for sure, "quit" will come across my mind. i want to let go everything. but i cant.

i feel im bad person. im good in nothing. not i want to look down at myself. everytime when i almost touch the brightness, there will be something push me into the darkness again. nah! im not feeling emo now k. i just hate myself. everything just can be simple. but something make it complicated. i really hope i never step into pmo.

* i wish i can play all the songs well.
* i wish the concert can go well like last year band concert.
* i wish everything just can go smoothly.
* i wish i can get good result in my exam.

attention!!! 3b3 new teacher, MOHD RIZAL, he is having his pms today!!
lolx. today he had wasted 1 hour++ ngam us. non stop! scary.
just that lots of us didnt do the work, he started to ngam.
this that.. mungkin saya terlalu berlembut.. blah blah blah~
he thought all of us will scare of the blue card.
if we all were scared of it, the line will not so long lahhhhx.
cant he use common sense?
i know that were our fault.
cant he stop ngam us?
since he know he was wasting time, why he still continue to talk this and that?
i didnt expect A GUY CAN NGAM OTHER PPL UNTIL SO 'GENG'!
he is the first guy that i know.


p.s. : pimples are poping out because i didnt get enough of sleep. hmph...

hmmmm, everything when i click create post, i will think what should i post. hmmmm, oh yeah! yesterday was the movie "er mo zai shen bian, devil beside you" last episode. ahhhhhx! i cried nehx. so touch! im sure everyone will like the movie. keke. " zai wo xin li, zhi you ni, wo de xin yi rong bu xia bie de nu ren le" *i cannot type in chinese so i typed it in pinyin* . waw. you see, im sure every girl hope the person they love will say this to them. so lammmmm. im waiting for they day coming. xDDDDD

last friday, my class had triple reliefs. waaaa. so shiok!!! at the first, i planned to sleep. because of kai foong was sitting at my place, so i went to sit at xian voon's place to sleep. arghhhh. JARED~ he kacau me!!! kept on kicking the table. so, i changed my place again. went to zhan ping's place. actually, there was hot. but still ok lahx. when i really going to fall asleep, suddenly the teacher said, : do you all want to know how to prevent pimples? eerrrhmmm. for me, for sure i will straight away wake up and listen lahx. she taught a lot of way to prevent. and it really make sense. thanks teacher~! xPPPP

today is 20th of may. i heard, lots of couples love today. because, 520 in chinese means wo ai ni. hmmmm, is this true? dont know lahx. i knew it from lyn's msg. anyway, today is pei en's birthday. happy birthday my dear~

p.s. : hope ah dan will get well soon. pray for her k? ^^

hmph.. today i ponteng school. xPPP nothing to do. just download some songs just now. Avril Lavigne's new songs are nice. what am i going to do afterwards lehx? charm lohx. sienz sienz sienz.

study. it seems everyone is trying to remind me exam is coming. erm, pls, who dont know that? i know lahx all my dears. i planned to study during the holiday. should i study earlier or..??

hmmmm, 3b3, my class. actually, is noisy class. who disagree? i guess, no one? i found out i always find a corner that is quiet when i am alone. i dam dai all my friends and i sit alone. what happen to me? hormones changing?? lolx. i dont like to talk anymore. i like to dream. get addicted to it already. lolllx. dreaming had became one of my habit already. is dreaming good or bad? * i only dream when i am alone, not during the teacher is teaching.* there are still a lot of questions stay in my mind. i wanna ask, but i dont dare to. i scare, it will let other people feel im too straight foward. ok, im a straight forward person. but this also depends on the situation de mahx. when you should and you shouldnt. * i still know how to control myself. *

ok lahx. i know lahx. im writting crapz. i better do something that i should do now.

hapiie birthday, ke xin..!! : ]

p.s. : talking/writting crap is one of my habit too. xDDD

i feel wanna suicide... lolx.... who can help me... who can understand my situation......
kao mang................................

hmmmm, actually i wanted write this post in chinese geh. but then my computer that chinese language got problem. suan liao lahx. my computer had reformated. many thing had gone. aikz.

i failed the test. pmo test. hahahahahaha. second time. i didnt pass for the xin sheng and chu ji he zhou sheng. hahahaahahahaha. i knew it. i knew it. im useless. i cannot be callled music pro. i isnt PRO at all. im useless. even my little juniors also geng than me. i cannot be saved anymore. i cannot blame anyone, except me. i didnt work hard for it. everything is just my fault. who knows that actually i am sad? my pretend skills are too good. hahahahaha. everything has been proved. im just 'lan yu chong shu' in pmo. WO SHI DUO YU DE. the only sentence i can tell myself. thats why at the first i wanna quit. they dont really need me. why they dont let me to quit? i hope they can give me a pecat surat to me. and im free from this problem. i admit. i dont really practice hard. im useless in everything i do. no matter how hard i try, i will never get good result. is God treat me fair? i treasure everything that i have now. i swear i got! i treat my mama good, because she's the only person i can treasure now. i treat lyn good, because she's one of my ji mui. i treat everyone nice and i always tell myself try to not hate other people. i tried hard already and i am tired now. i never get back what i had given out. i always help my friend when they are in problem. but when the person had problem is me, i feel like no one is around me. i dont know which person i should talk to. example, lyn, how can i spoil her mood while she is happy with her result? i had found the wrong person. avis, my kor, failed to make me smile. see......

yesterday, after i knew i failed it. i stopped myself from crying. i tahan and tahan. and i pretend nothing happen. im just too geng. no one realise it. i sat at the corridor there. outside of pmo there. did my homework. most of the time i was dreaming. after that, i went into hua yue shi there because there is cooler. i thought of i will not sad after i woke up from sleeping. everything is just not going on my way. i dont even get back my result paper. i dont feel wanna talk anymore. i couldnt feel the peace. what will i feel when i stepped into pmo there again? is too hard for me to continue my road. i wish i can keep on running and dont care what is beside me. who can understand my sadness? no one... i dont want to care anyone anymore. i am tired of it.
now only i realised actually the most useless person in this world is me.

p.s. : i wish i never study in chs. i shouldnt.

i will miss you, my old place. sobz. T.T

another thing, i saw her SCARY FACE AGAIN AND AGAIN. damn itttt. i dont want to hate her k. why are those people dont respect other people? it makes me angry. THEY ARE NOT RESPECTING ME. what had i did wrong? takkan they cannot respect other people. it is easy and simple. just fuckkkkkkk it!

today my mood was totally spoiled. first, is encik ho having his pms? oh pls, why is he having his pms everyday? lolx. my mood was spoiled by him. HE SHOUTED AT US! lolx. shouted here and there early in the morning. dont know why must he angry. cannot tolerate?! he dont know how to communicate with students. -.-" feel wanna kill him now. fine fine fine. its over. dont want talk about this anymore.

actually, today didnt happen any special thing. hmmmm, yeah! i dropped my double bass! lolx. it dropped on my foot! it was so pain lahx! you know what pei en said?

she said : why are you so careless geh? (sounds like i purposely want to do it)

i said : sorry lohx. im not purposely de mahx. it dropped on my foot nehx. pain lahhhhx.

she said : lolx. the double bass is more expensive than your leg lahx. u cannot effort it de you know.

lolx. do she has common sense? i damn kek when i heard this. but i didnt show my feelings out because i know it is not worth! of course my leg is more expensive than the bass. if my leg was broke, i have only one leg! and i have to go to hospital to make a fake leg! can't she think which one is more worth? im wondering how she scored high marks in geography.

p.s. : this is my first time i scolded bad word in my blog xD

today is, hari sukan. I HATE HARI SUKAN! it was SIENZ SIENZ SIENZ. i was like wasting my time. form 3,4 and 5 were placed in sport centre. i wasted most of my time in sport centre. i was deaming and listening to the music. arghhh. wk's discman is totally cacat! dont know why. i used new battery but it said no battery. swt~ so, i decided to not listening to it. then, louise, lyn and me went to outside there to have our breakfast. after that, we backed to sport centre again. lolx. sitting at there and dreaming again. think nothing. lolx. lyn and louise said they wanted to draw their face. so, they followed dan dan and i still sitting at there, but alone. listening to louise's mp4. listened.. listened.. listened.. dont know how many hours was passed. after that, they were backed. see, i wasted a lot of time. A LOT! aikz. i shouted and gave sorakan to the runner for last two acara. haha. LAST~ yeng mannnn! wei khai was so yeeeeeng. he was placed last place but he kept on chased and he had won the race! haha. too bad lahx. he is ungu de. aiseh. haha.

i had decided. i will not go back to liu qing anymore. i will not play liu qing after the concert. since she was so worry that i cannot do it, why she still placed me play that song with liu qing? I WILL NEVER GO BACK ANYMORE. i dont want to see the way she looked at me. she makes me feel scary and nervous. i couldnt think anymore when i look at her. NEVER NEVER~


p.s. : sometimes, i just want to be alone. and i started love to being alone.

J A N E..K O N G..L A I..Y E E

: in love with Jesus
: music freak
: 30% quiet + 70% noisy
: always try to be nice and smile to everyone , i try hard and hard !
: love pooh & penguin
: hate hot weather , alcohol drinks , drug , smoker

desires
: new sling bag
: new camera
: new phone
: new mp3 player
: meet Jj
: Jj's albums
: more clothes
: more As in PMR
: change new spec
: Get into same class with Lyn
: Get closer to all my friends

current mood
: new year !
: school !!